I can’t believe that we have less than a month! Last night while laying in bed Rob said, “Honey, in less than a month we’re going to have a baby”. As he was saying it – Jonah was dancing in my belly. “Going to have a baby?”, I responded, “we already have one!”. It became real quiet. “Are you ok?” I asked. “Yea, I’m just freaking out – I don’t want to talk about it”, Rob answered. Again – silence. This time, my heart began pounding – Oh my gosh, he’s freaking out! We can’t turn back now! I think I’m freaking out. Why am I freaking out? “Rob, it’s going to be ok”, I said. “We’re going to be great parents, we’ll work together to provide for our family and we’ll have lots of love.”. Silence followed. Then this morning I asked, “Are you still freaking out” (secretly, it was still bothering me). “Oh no”, Rob said. “That was only for like 5 minutes – I just had a weak moment”.
Just like that the wave of panic came and left him – ok, so it hasn’t quite left me. Probably because I’m panicking more about the actually deliverly process. I have to get through that and then I’ll worry about afterward. If I bite too much off I’ll be a wreck. The truth is – we’re going to be just fine. We’re going to be great parents, we have a lot to offer. We have a secure, faith filled and happy marriage. The thing that I am unsure of is how our life will change. We know it will be drastic. Especially since we’ve been married for almost 9 years and you tend to get used to things after that period of time. Jonah is going to change our life in many ways (he actually already has) but we also know that it’s going to be for the better. Sure, we will have more stress but we will have another person to focus on and love. So, in times like this – we just have to keep that in our scope.
So, I guess I should really stop procrastinating and pack my suitcase for the hospital. I keep putting it off – I don’t know if I think if it’s not packed it’s not going to happen. Haa haa That’s my goal for this weekend – pack that suitcase! Jonah is going to come whether my bag is packed or not. And then if I don’t pack it, Rob will have to. And I’ve seen him pack my bags before. J The clock is ticking…